The Three L's
by Songwind
Summary: I have given in to making parodies! This is based off of Love's Labours Lost, a really funny play! What'll happen when I make the seishi do the play?
1. Default Chapter

The Three L's  
  
By Songwind  
  
DISCLAIMER- I do not own either Fushigi Yugi or Shakespeare plays. Those belong to SMART people. Oh, don't look so sad, I'm sure you'll find SOMEONE to sue.   
  
If you work hard, you'll be happy. If you're happy, everyone loves you. If everyone loves you, then you're happy! ^_^ So go forth and be happy!  
  
~*~  
  
(A loud crashing noise is heard as all of the Suzaku Seishi and some random appear in a huge warehouse like area)  
  
Nuriko- Itai... (Rubs back of his head) What happened?  
  
Tasuki- I was about t' #$^@ing ask that!  
  
Nuriko- Well, I beat you. So there. (Sticks out tongue)  
  
Tasuki- (grumbles)  
  
Chiriko- (kanji appears) It seems we have appeared in a large area, a warehouse I would surmise. There is no one in sight, save a creepy looking silhouette over in that corner holding something in its lap, and there are a number of props all over the place. There is also something that looks like what Miaka used to create images of us a while back.  
  
Tamahome- (blinks) (Then looks worried) You don't mean we're in a fanfic, are you?!  
  
Me- (aka creepy silhouette in the corner) A parody, to be precise. (comes out of said corner) Welcome, all! ^^ How are you?  
  
Most of the Seishi- (mumble "fine")  
  
Then,  
  
Kouran- Houjun? (blinks, watery eyes) You're here? I'm alive?  
  
Chichiri- O.O KOURAN! (glomp)   
  
Everyone else- (blink, blink)  
  
Miaka- Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome- (shakes his head) Miaka.  
  
Miaka- (nods sagely) Tamahome!  
  
Me- (looks mildly sick) That's nice. How about we cut to the chase, then?   
  
Mitsukake- SHOUKA!  
  
Everyone else- (jumps at him actually shouting)  
  
Shouka- (blinks) Wow, I'm alive... Cool! ^_^  
  
Me- Ahem...  
  
Chichiri and Kouran- (start wandering off)  
  
Me- HEY!  
  
All activity ceases.  
  
Me- Okay, I brought back these people because they're needed in the play we're doing. We're gonna do Shakespeare for our first time working together.  
  
Miaka- Shakespeare? Oh, no, not Romeo and Juliet! (Lips quiver) I cried so hard... Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome- (comforts her) Miaka!  
  
Me- (smacks them both on the head with Shakespeare books) Please, that play's been done to DEATH already. No pun intended. We're doing a romance, but it's a comedy. A.K.A. nobody dies.  
  
Group sighs in relief.  
  
Miaka- I dunno any others, we don't have a lot of English translated books...  
  
Me- We're doing one called Love's Labours Lost. Now, Hotohori-sama?  
  
Hotohori- (sparkles) Yes?  
  
Me- (smiles at his sparkliness) You'll be the main-main male character. You're the king, in other words, which you'll obviously play nicely.  
  
Hotohori- Is he supposed to be attractive?  
  
Me- Oh yes, very much so. All the guys are supposed to be.  
  
Hotohori- Then I assume you'll refrain from using certain... others... (glances at Tama and Tasuki) as the others?  
  
Me- (grin) Actually... Yeah, Tamahome, you're the messenger guy. In other words, you get like five lines. Nuriko? You'll be the princess.  
  
Nuriko- Is that good?  
  
Me- (whisper) You get to fall in love with Hotohori and vice versa.  
  
Nuriko- (glomps) I LOVE YOU!  
  
Everyone else- (looks mildly disturbed)  
  
Chichiri- What about me, no da?  
  
Me- (dreamy sigh) You're one of the dukes. Er, you're a lord that follows the king around. That's a good part, by the way. Kouran, you're one of the maids. You'll pair up in the play.  
  
Both- ^^ WAI! (NO DA!)  
  
Me- And let's see... Mitsukake, same with you and Shouka. You're a lord, she's the maid.  
  
Mits and Shouka- (Nod, nod)  
  
Me- Who am I forgetting here... That's Hotohori, Nuriko, Chiri, Kouran, Mits and Shouka, oh and Tamahome. I need one more lord and maid here... um... (thinks) Chiriko!  
  
Chiriko- (looks surprised) Hai?  
  
Me- You're the smartest person here (which is kinda sad, though) so you'll be the last lord. He's smart. And... you'll be with Miaka. ^^  
  
Miaka- O.o NANI?  
  
Chiriko- (faints)  
  
Me- Oh come on! He's thirteen, you're fourteen. Jeez! Besides, Tamahome's already taken.  
  
Tasuki- Wha 'bout me? (pout)  
  
Me- (grabs his arm) You're the narrator!   
  
Others- (look nervous)  
  
Chichiri- Is that a good idea, no da...?  
  
Kouran- Oh please, Houjun, do you want him to take your part?  
  
Chichiri- No #^@@ing chance no da.  
  
Everyone else- O.o Okay then...  
  
Tasuki- Is tha' good?  
  
Me- You get to make fun of everyone while they're being idiots and falling in love and stuff.  
  
Tasuki- ^^ I can do that!  
  
Me- (gives him sake) To relax you in case you're nervous. (Wink)  
  
Tasuki- Ya know, I could like this. (takes a swig)  
  
Tamahome- But me and Miaka!  
  
Miaka- But me and Tamahome!  
  
Me- Nope.  
  
Both- (pout)  
  
Me- No ^%*^$ing way.  
  
Tasuki (swig)  
  
Chiriko- (still lying there)  
  
Hotohori- (busy admiring himself)  
  
Mits and Shouka- (wandering off to a corner)  
  
Chichiri and Kouran- (Same O.o)  
  
Me- Okay then, shall we do the first act? Or attempt to anyway...? (Blinks at everyone leaving) HEY! WE ARE NOT ON A COFFEE BREAK HERE! COME BACK!  
  
~*~  
  
Tasuki- (swig) One #^&$ing day, there was a $&#ing king and his three baka lords. They were gathered 'cause the king wanted t' #^^*ing talk t' em or somethin'...  
  
Hotohori- (looking regal and holding a scroll and a pen) My lords, I entreat thee to follow my path and take a vow.  
  
Chichiri- A vow, your majesty no da?  
  
Hotohori- Verily.   
  
Chiriko- (attempting to look suspicious but merely ends up looking confused) What sort of vow dost thou speak of, majesty?  
  
Hotohori- I speak of a vow with three requirements. For three years we shall sleep only three hours each night. We shall be in constant study-  
  
Chiriko- Of what?  
  
Hotohori- (blinks at someone interrupting him) Excuse me?  
  
Chiriko- What shall we study during these three years?  
  
Hotohori- (glances at author, sweat-drops) Er, I suppose whatever it is we are supposed to be studied. Probably something lordly or kingly. Anyway, our last requirement is to not come within a mile of a woman during these three years.  
  
Chichiri- Sounds harsh, no da.  
  
Tasuki- They were ^&#%ing undecided 'bout wha' t' do. (swigs) Can I get another bottle?  
  
Me- (pulls out another)  
  
Tasuki- Thanks. (Swig) So th' silent guy starts talkin'.  
  
Mitsukake- (Frown.) I have a name, you know. Well, I suppose I shall sign this decree, and thus so willingly. (Takes pen and signs the scroll)  
  
Chichiri- It shall be hard, yet the path to become a better man is always a harsh one no da. (Signs it)  
  
Hotohori- (holds out paper to Chiriko) Well? Shall thou sign?  
  
Chiriko- (frowns, then smiles innocently and walks up) I shall sign this, but I vow by all that is holy I shall be the last to break such a decree. (Signs)   
  
Hotohori- Then, banded together as brothers in our three-year study as we are, let us begin!  
  
Chiriko- Allow me to say one thing before we do so, sire.  
  
Hotohori- What is it?  
  
Chiriko- (smile) You DID recall that a princess from some foreign country shall arrive and expect the best hospitality of you tomorrow evening?  
  
Tasuki- (Swigs and yawns) The rest of 'em were %$&#in' dismayed.  
  
The others- NANI?!  
  
~*~  
  
Thus begins the parody of Love's Labours Lost. ^^; I've been wanting to do this parody for a while, and I finally have begun. (Feels happy) Well, hope you liked the beginning. Up next, the princess and her maids shall encounter the king and his lords. What'll happen? ^_~ Well, it IS a romance comedy...  
  
Chiriko- (faints again)  
  
Miaka- (Cries) I WANNA BE WITH TAMAHOME!  
  
Tamahome- (says the same general thing about Miaka)  
  
Chichiri- (off somewhere with Kouran)  
  
Mits- (same, but with Shouka)  
  
Tasuki- I like my part. ^^ (Swigs)  
  
Well, that's their opinion. What's yours? 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
  
Notes- it shall be noted that the author speaks very little Shakespearean. Thus you will have to live with modern slang and mere thee's and thou's. Though I like writing those anyway. ^^ Please enjoy!  
  
~*~  
  
Me- Okay, and... start!  
  
Tasuki- (Swigs) Th' next day, some rich girl and her servants showed up and #$%^ing demanded t' see th' king.  
  
Nuriko- Where is Hotohori-sama?! WHERE?!  
  
Kouran- ^^; (giggles and waves at Chichiri)  
  
Chichiri- ^_^  
  
Shouka- (flips hair)  
  
Mitsukake- ^_^ (waves)  
  
Miaka- (pouts)  
  
Tamahome- (off somewhere pouting also)  
  
Hotohori- (grabs sword and comes out from back of stage) Who art thou, who makes such a racket within my palace territory?  
  
Nuriko- (still looking around) WHERE IS HE?! WHERE'S HOTO- oh! (Spots him) So thou art Hotohori-sama, who shall grant us hospitality for the next week or so?  
  
Hotohori- Oh, um, you must speak of a different Hotohori-sama! (Looks nervous)  
  
Tasuki- (swigs more sake- what a surprise, ne?) Th' rich lady didn't believe him.  
  
Me- (sweat-drop) Thanks for that obvious statement, Tasuki.  
  
Tasuki- No **^%ing problem. (Swigs)  
  
Nuriko- Nonsense! You are he, correct? Then shall thou show us to our rooms?  
  
Chiriko- Alas, nay good lady. For we have recently taken a- OW!  
  
All the 'ladies'- (blinks)  
  
Nuriko- You've taken an 'ow'?  
  
Chichiri- Actually, he said- ITAI! What was that for, Hotohori-sama no da?!  
  
Nuriko- So you ARE he! Lead us to our rooms then, good lords and majesty!  
  
Hotohori- Um... yes, well, funny thing happened the other day. (Keeps stomping on Chichiri's foot)  
  
Kouran- (glares at Hotohori)  
  
Nuriko- Oh?  
  
Hotohori- Well, we kind of, er, that is to say...  
  
Chiriko- We forgot you were coming and made a vow not to be near a woman for three years, my lady.   
  
Nuriko- You FORGOT me? (Dangerous look)  
  
Tasuki- Th' ladies were %$^*ing pissed. (Swigs) 'Specially th' one tha' wasn't really a lady t' begin with. (Swigs again)  
  
Me- Ano, Tasuki? In this play Nuriko IS a woman.   
  
Tasuki- Whatever. Can I get another bottle?  
  
Me- -_- Sure, why not...   
  
Nuriko- How could you forget me, the most beautiful of beautiful princesses in the land? How could you forget my faithful maids, known for their fierce loyalty and love for me?  
  
Tasuki- Kinky. (Snickers)  
  
Me- (sighs)  
  
Tamahome- (appears and smacks him)  
  
Hotohori- Well We apologize for Our grave mistake, yet after all, a vow is a vow...  
  
Nuriko- (eye twitch) I see. So where are we to stay then? I don't suppose thou hast an extra palace around for the women you're to be HOSPITABLE and KIND to.   
  
Hotohori- (winces) Ano, not exactly... We apologize yet again, but the only way for Us to house thou and thy maids would be somewhere in the woods nearby.  
  
Nuriko- The nerve! (Turns his nose up) Fine then. Come ladies; let us make our way to this... wood area. It will probably be lovelier than his stupid palace anyway.  
  
Hotohori- WHAT? How couldst thou say that?  
  
Tasuki- Now th' king was pissed.  
  
Everyone else- How about that.  
  
Nuriko- (Ignores Hotohori) My maids, come with me.  
  
Maids- Hai, my lady!   
  
Chiriko- That actually went pretty well...  
  
Hotohori- Oh shut up. (Sighs) Now what?  
  
Chichiri- Ano, Hotohori-sama no da?  
  
Hotohori- What?  
  
Chichiri- (turning dark red in the face, even with his mask on) COULD YOU GET OFF OF MY FOOT?!  
  
~*~ Break! ~*~  
  
Me- Poor Mitsukake, you didn't get a single line there, did you? (Hugs him)  
  
Mits- I don't really care.  
  
Shouka- (eye twitches) Would you mind getting off of Mitsukake?  
  
Me- Yep. ^^  
  
Mits- (sweat-drops and shoves both of us off) Ano...  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Tasuki- Hehehe. Faaaaannng boooy. REKKA SHIN'EN! (Falls off the chair he's been on, laughing hysterically and dropping his tessen on the ground)  
  
Me- (blinks) Yeah, I'd say he's drunk.  
  
Chichiri- (looking at foot mournfully) At least they weren't ladies' shoes, no da... Itai... .  
  
Kouran- Houjun! (Hugs him and kisses on cheek)  
  
Chichiri- (brightens considerably)  
  
Kouran- Why don't I look at that foot for you? Then we can see if we can make it better... (winks)  
  
Me- Kouran! You're supposed to be the CHASTE one here!  
  
Chichiri- It's perfectly fine with me, no da! ^^ (Walks off with her)  
  
Everyone- O.o  
  
Me- (hits head) That was very, very weird.  
  
Tamahome- Oh, Miaka!   
  
Miaka- Oh, Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome- I miss you every time you get into costume, Miaka!  
  
Miaka- And I miss you, Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome- Miaka!  
  
Miaka- Tama-  
  
Tama-neko- MEOW! (Jumps in between them)  
  
Miaka- TAMA-NEKO?!  
  
Said Tama-neko- (flips tail at both of them before racing off)  
  
Tamahome- ...  
  
Miaka- ...  
  
Tamahome- Miaka!  
  
Miaka- Tamahome!  
  
Both hug.  
  
~*~ Back to the play! ~*~  
  
Nuriko- Men! What a thing to do to us! (Brushing hair)  
  
Kouran- I agree. How could they take such a vow?  
  
Miaka- Especially the day before we were to come?  
  
All nod seriously at this.  
  
Shouka- But yeah, that tall silent guy was quite the admirable man. (Winks)  
  
Kouran- Oh, I don't know... (Smiles at Chichiri, who's off stage) That lord with the light hair certainly caught MY eyes. What say you, dear Miaka?  
  
Miaka- (monotone voice) I must say that that small lord, he who spoke plainly, was who I admit I feel an interest in.  
  
Me- Oh, come ON! You can be more convincing than THAT, Miaka!  
  
Tasuki- Th' Director was pissed at th' actors. (Swigs)  
  
Me- -_- (smacks him) You shut up.  
  
Nuriko- MOVING ON... Ahem. (Smiles) Perhaps thou art right, my sweet maids. For my eyes could not leave those of the King, despite his careless choice of words as to our fate in these woods.  
  
Shouka- Here, here.  
  
Kouran- It's just a shame that we can't speak to them... (sighs)  
  
Nuriko- Can't we? (Wicked smile) THEY were the ones who took a vow. What we do is not their concern.  
  
All others- Ahh... (smile back)  
  
Kouran- So shall we make them wish that vow was never taken?  
  
Nuriko- Kouran, dear, thou art a smart lady. Yes, we shall do as we wish!  
  
~*~  
  
And part two is done! What did you all think? Next up; the lords and king start to waver in their decision to follow their vows. What'll happen? ^_^ Until next time, everyone! 


End file.
